made this before i came up with a punchline and wound up too afraid of it to actually come up with one. rip
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Why would you hide that in the notes
I want an ice maker and enough room in the freezer for a pizza and that is IT.
I want the dumbest fridge you got. Gimme the orange tabby of refrigeration. I want my fridge to pull the wrong lever and turn my enemies into llamas instead of killing them. I want the following features: keeps things cold, has compartment that keeps things colder, a door that opens and shuts.
"Here at Stupid Jeff's Dumb Appliance Warehouse we sell the dumbest fucking appliances. Check out this fridge. This fridge won't ask you about your day, this dumb fucking fridge doesn't know what an Elon Musk is and won't fucking tell you what bullshit that dumb monkey is slapping into his phone today when you try to get some fucking milk. We took out all those "smart" electronics and in their place we put a loaded Glock 9mm that is put right up to that light that turns on when you open the door, which is the smartest thing in this fucking stupid fridge and let me tell you that fucker is on thin goddamn ice, if it gets too smart and tries to turn on before you open that door, the Glock will blow it to hell. Speaking of ice, this stupid fridge makes it. It makes ice, it keeps things cold, it comes with shelves. It's sturdy enough that when your ex comes back to your place looking for their stuff that they think they left behind like nine months ago and they know that you don't have it, but they wanted an excuse to come start a fight with you and throw a chair at your head but miss you and hit your fridge MICHAEL, this fridge will keep trucking because it gives zero shits and it only lives to keep things cold. Come to Stupid Jeff's Dumb Appliance Warehouse, if you ask us if we have an app, we break your kneecaps."
we're having a field day over this obama thing huh
wait i didnt mean to include the bottom post
tumblr remove scree shot
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obama posted that
Gustave Caillebotte, The Floor Planers, 1875
All hail Gustave Caillebotte, the only Impressionist who bothered to say “You know what this art movement doesn’t have enough of? Shirtless rough trade, that’s what!” And then he became the change he wanted to see in the world, and I think that’s beautiful.
Btw what they’re doing is scraping old darkened and scratched varnished off a wood floor so it can be re-varnished and look like new. Once it’s done it’s going to get so many compliments at the owner’s next dinner party
me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors
certified iconic post
So what this paint company does is take iron pollution from abandoned mines that are polluting soils and rivers and makes iron based red pigment paints out of it.
Basically they realized hey no one's cleaning this shit up, it's polluting the streams, killing all the fish, making the water undrinkable and there's a huge market for it so why not make money by cleaning it the fuck up?
They remove this stuff by the industrial bucket load from the rivers. The idea is if it's in a painting, if it's in your home, it's not poisoning wildlife.
anyway its cool as shit, please support tf out of these people https://gamblinstore.com/reclaimed-earth-colors-set/
what the fuck is "dark academia" isnt real academia dark enough do you know what some of these fuckers woudl do for funding
tolkien writing elves: this is Fëafineärenfindelwë he ruled as a king for 12,069 years and he slew seven balrogs and he created three conlangs and he invented light
tolkien writing men: this is Berengorn he's a nobleman with a fancy sword and he looks just like an elf and he was raised by elves and he marries an elf
tolkien writing dwarves: this is Durin XVI Ironking he forged a billion legendary swords
tolkien writing hobbits: this is Berry Bingo Bongfeet he writes songs about trees and he owns a weed farm